Motherhood & A New Direction
I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately, and trying to prepare myself mentally for the birth of my second child. I am only half way through my pregnancy, but I am working through some issues surrounding the birth of my first, and this is all part of the process.
I’ve been trying to put together a post-natal care plan of sorts for myself, with nutritional remedies, plant medicines, holistic healing therapies etc, so I have been scouring my nutrition and herbal text books from uni, and something occurred to me - in all of these massive scientific texts, not a single one discusses health and healing for the mother during the postnatal period. NOT ONE.
Why is it that the healing of mothers post birth is something that we don’t really talk about in main stream society? Why is it that the mother is deemed just the vessel, who should bounce back to her pre-baby body less than six weeks of giving birth? Why is that just about everyone says ‘well as long as the baby is healthy, that’s all that matters’ when we talk about our births and birthing intentions? A healthy mother is just as important as a healthy baby, and the rite of passage of becoming a mother (no matter how you birthed or how your child came into your life) needs more attention than it’s getting.
For me, it is only now, almost two years later, that I am starting to really accept my role as ‘mother’ and acknowledge the changes that took place, not only in my body, but deep, deep, within my being.
I found new motherhood to be the single most isolating time of my life. I felt that I had failed in the birth of my son and that I didn’t deserve to be a mother because I didn’t physically push a baby out of my vagina. This c-section wasn’t by choice mind you, and I was under a general anaesthetic after hours and hours of back labour when my son was pulled out of my uterus through a nice big incision in my abdomen, so I didn’t even see him born, nor did my husband. I was just handed a baby when I woke up in a post-anaesthesia haze. The midwives were amazing and imparted on me all the knowledge they could in the days I was in hospital, but once I was out, I had to figure it all out on my own. I had no family near by, I was living in a new town, my husband works in a creative industry meaning that he works pretty much 24/7. I was on my own.
And close to two years on, five months pregnant with baby number two, I am now gathering myself back up again, process what happened to me, to our family, and reclaiming my sacred motherhood. I am reclaiming and owning the rite of passage that is becoming a mother, and I so whole-heartedly want to help other women through their journey into motherhood so they can navigate these new waters with ease and a sense of safety.
And this is the direction that this blog will take. I am going to incorporate parenting elements into this site, now that I am ready to talk about my experience, and I sincerely hope that the pieces I have planned will be of benefit to you. I resisted posting anything really about my parenting experience because I almost didn’t feel worthy, or like I didn't want to be identified solely by my role as a mother. I wanted to be the old me plus a child, which just doesn’t make sense, and it really doesn't work that way :P
Motherhood, fatherhood, parenthood - it all changes you, and I am embracing it, in all it’s glory.
Please feel free to comment below if you would like to share your story, I would so love to hear from you <3